The unlimited Screen Time mommy
Have you ever suffered from guilt attack because you were caught looking at the screen, while your child’s stage performance was going on?
I have!
Let me narrate an incident which happened a few days back.
I was in an auditorium, waiting to watch my son’s annual day show, and while the kids were doing their song and dance, my thought kept going back to the half-read book that was right there on my phone. My son was obviously not a part of every program and I was waiting for him to make an appearance and then give the event my undivided attention.
Let’s be honest, none of watch a three-hour long kids’ performance without getting distracted, unless we see our kids on the stage. (Hope it’s just not me).
As I was saying, my love for reading took over and I decided to distract myself for a bit. Deeply engrossed in my reading, I didn’t notice a lady standing next to me, till she patted me on my shoulder and said, “How sad these kids will feel when they see their parents watching the screen and not them”, and she said that with not a very happy smile on her face. And then she pointed out to the whole three rows of parents doing the same, looking at the screen.
I was instantly engulfed in guilt.
It’s true, if a child looked up, they would see me and some other parents looking at their phones.
But then, a thought crossed my mind. Wasn’t it dark where I was sitting? How would the kids know what I am doing? Even if they did, not all of them know me and they have no interest in looking out for any parent besides theirs. My child was still not up on the stage. I was being wrongly accused. And instantly, my guilt was replaced with rebellion and I went back to reading my book, but with frequent sideward glances to watch out for clouds of suspicion and few claps for the kids on the stage.
Parents today are often accused of paying more attention to their gadgets and lesser to their kids. I wonder why?
I grew up in a household where both parents were working. I remember my mother, in her free time, surrounded by papers and diaries and sorting stuff out, while I sat nearby, either doing my homework or reading a book or telling her my school tales or randomly talking. She an alphabetically arranged telephone book where she got all the numbers, I have my diary on my phone.
She paid the bills manually and sorted the printed bills, I do it online and have soft copies on my mail. (I save paper)
She had passbooks that she had to send to the bank to update, I have bank statements that come every week on my mail.
She had ‘Kharcha Diary’ (A diary where she wrote her expenditure) and I have ‘Notes’ app on my iPhone.
She wrote down directions and I use google maps.
She read newspapers and I read news on the news app or have it read out to me by Alexa.
We both do the same thing, just differently.
And I am faster cause of technology.
So, why are we new age parents being crucified? Just because we use a device, instead of papers and books? It’s not that we are addicted it. Its necessity (and at times entertainment and an excuse to not talk or hear ;)).
When my children see on the phone, there is this face that they make which silently says “Not Again”. And they have no idea what I am doing. Still!
This adds to the accusation and the whole scenario turns us into oblivious moms who are missing the precious childhood moments and raising attention seeking kids.
I don’t agree!
But I also know that no amount of explaining about what we do on these techno gadgets will change anyone’s view. So, I carry on…
I don’t doubt my parenting. Neither should anyone else.
My gadgets get work done for me with just a few clicks. I like them. I know when to stop. And so do majority of the mothers.
Problem happens when the control is lost.
There, all explained and sorted!
And now that I have posted this article, I am on my iPhone, getting some work done and replying to my messages that will eventually lead to a long conversation. But my kids are not yet home and I have time.